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Heart Break

I have been contemplating what to write on my blog lately. I am going through a time in the culture shock/stress phase that is hard to put into words. However, just the other day as I sat on the floor starring out the window the words came. Heart Broken. That kind of heart- ache that consumes your body, leaves you somewhat depressed and the pain is so real it feels physical. I feel like I just had a bad break-up. I was told Nov/Dec are going to be hard months, but I got through November and then …heart break. I am not sure why. But I have my guesses. The adventure of moving here and starting life here is over. I am officially here. I am living life in China. With that being said; now I am realizing that life in China isn’t easy all the time, I miss home and life there, and that living life here is going to be more of a sacrifice than I originally thought. Its not temporary. This is a hard realization. I think for the past 5 months I have been in survival mode. Knowing if I just pushed through I would make it and like it here. If I was nice to my teammates I could maybe be friends with them. Now, I am seeing that survival mode has been turned off, and normal life has turned on. Teaching is my job, my teammates are not only my friends but family and people I have to rely on. So as you read this you can know how to lift me up more specifically. I am doing well and still enjoying my students…but adapting to a new culture and life doesn’t come without its hard times too ☺

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