I have been contemplating what to write on my blog lately. I am going through a time in the culture shock/stress phase that is hard to put into words. However, just the other day as I sat on the floor starring out the window the words came.
Heart Broken. That kind of heart- ache that consumes your body, leaves you somewhat depressed and the pain is so real it feels physical. I feel like I just had a bad break-up.
I was told Nov/Dec are going to be hard months, but I got through November and then …heart break.
I am not sure why. But I have my guesses. The adventure of moving here and starting life here is over. I am officially here. I am living life in China. With that being said; now I am realizing that life in China isn’t easy all the time, I miss home and life there, and that living life here is going to be more of a sacrifice than I originally thought.
Its not temporary.
This is a hard realization. I think for the past 5 months I have been in survival mode. Knowing if I just pushed through I would make it and like it here. If I was nice to my teammates I could maybe be friends with them. Now, I am seeing that survival mode has been turned off, and normal life has turned on. Teaching is my job, my teammates are not only my friends but family and people I have to rely on.
So as you read this you can know how to lift me up more specifically. I am doing well and still enjoying my students…but adapting to a new culture and life doesn’t come without its hard times too ☺
Surrounded by sounds of horns, buses, and loud Chinese while walking down a crowded street can seem so foreign and a somewhat out of body experience. As we were walking down a shopping street trying to find our way, to my utter disbelief, I heard Backstreet Boys! Yes, I did stay and listen to the whole song, and it was wonderful! It is funny the things that remind you of home, the thing’s that make your heart smile when you live here. I would never think that hearing “Baby, baby ..ooohhh” by Justin Bieber would be a heart warming experience, but sadly because he speaks English and is totally American, I now have bieber fever! I have really enjoyed hearing some older, not so popular, pop songs and was not expecting to hear what I heard one day shopping for rugs. It was as if the Father was talking directly to me. It was a praise song in English! They had no clue what it was, but to me it was a reminder that He is with me…. anywhere I go! I was praising Him in English in a rug store! ...
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