Mo Mo Coffee

Today Allie, Leanne, and I decided to walk to mo mo coffee shop. We didn’t really know what we would find, but we wanted a place we could sit and write our final written assignment, and a coffee shop sounded like the best place to do that. It was about a 15 minute walk from our hotel, so we packed our bags and were off. To our surprise mo mo coffee was “more more” better than Starbucks! Sofas, waiters, and a wonderful atmosphere! Not to mention they were playing 98 degrees. We ordered some coffee and began typing away. Throughout the 3 hours we were there, both Allie and LeAnne had to leave for some reason or another. Which left me, there in mo mo alone. As, I began my trek back home; my first initial response was fear. I don’t know Chinese, I don’t even know my way around Beijing that well, and I don’t have a cell phone. But immediately felt a calming peace. I felt the father tell me I was fine. In fact, I did know how to communicate a little, I knew my way back, and I knew I was safe here. What an amazing feeling. I was in a city of 1.7 million people and I felt as if it was just me and the Father walking along the streets to my hotel. I was comforted and felt his love and approval. Lately my biggest struggle has been self -confidence. That is a strange thing for me to struggle with. I have seen all of these new teachers handling the adjustment to culture and language and I compare. I wish my language was good, or I learned that fast, I wish I liked the food as much as them, or I wish I could walk 10 miles a day and not be really sore afterwards. These are all things the enemy stuck in my mind and I couldn’t help but think I was not living up to the standards of this kind of life-style. This week I have felt the need to impress Jeremy and others, or to try to be a different Tama.
On my way home this afternoon I heard the Father tell me he was proud of me! He was impressed at my transition so far and that I have been strong! If I could put into words how these words impacted my tender heart, I would, but I can’t. The father loved on me today and took charge of my thoughts. It is relieving to know I am specially made just the way he wants me to be, and that he is “more more” proud of me than any human here!