Not a Monk

How does someone know the Father has “called” them to something? I have always wondered what people had to do in order for them to be called or spoken to by the creator himself. I figured you had to be a monk or a pastor of some sort.

            I remember when Jeremy and I were engaged and in pre-marriage counseling. Our pastor, of course, had to bring up China. This was a topic of so many discussions. Will we go back? (Probably a no) Do you want to go? (Definite no) Do you feel like the father would have you stay here in Evansville? (Yes, that is correct) I was not being “called “ to China. Nor did I feel like that was in my future.

            I have always known that the Lord has made my heart special and that I felt as if he was going to do something different through me than an average young adult. I never knew what that was, but always felt that deep inside. After one year of marriage I graduated and was planning on applying to get my doctorate. It was made evident by the father that it was not in his plans and so I put that dream on hold and began seeking what I was suppose to do. Always knowing I may not like what ever it may be.

            In September of 2010 Jeremy came to me saying he was being “called” back to China. Now, Jeremy is not a monk nor would I consider him a pastor, so I was a little confused at how he would called and I wouldn’t. Did I just not hear it? I decided that it was about time that the Lord “call” me. If I were to uproot and move to China I best be being called!

            I then approached the father with that eagerness. Almost demanding he change my heart. I knew that I would follow Jeremy wherever he went, but I wanted to be passionate about what he was passionate about and therefore asked for it.

            Now, can I tell you how someone gets called? Not really. But I know that I eventually was. He used people, radio, books, and his word to change my heart and open my ears. In February I knew for a fact that I was suppose to be in China. I resisted of course. But soon was feeling the physical weight, not being able to find joy, and needed to surrender my ideal life over to his ideal plan!

            The moment I obeyed, the moment I accepted his calling, was life changing! A calling isn’t necessarily what I thought it would feel like. I somewhat expected my calling to be something I planned on. Maybe that is why some of us have a hard time hearing our calling, because we are distracted by our wants and desires. We aren’t taking time to think about if the Father might have another plan in mind. You don’t have to be a monk in order to hear the Father speak; just an average person seeking the heart of the creator.