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Discovering me

Don’t you just hate it when you open your closet and realize out of all the clothes you own, none of them match or go together? I do! I am not sure the Chinese ever have that feeling. I have come to the conclusion that Chinese don’t even turn on the light, they grab some pants….grab a shirt….and they have an outfit. My first two months, the “pretty + pretty = pretty” concept was so strange. They find a pretty shirt + pretty pants = a pretty outfit. However, just this past week I realized I didn’t bring any good winter shoes and that my feet were going to freeze on the scooter. Solution: Wear some warm socks that don’t match with my open foot shoes….in America I would have been mocked and laughed at. Here… fit right in. This got me thinking. I wonder how much of what I wear is because of what other people will think of me rather than me wearing it because I like it? I get more stares here in a day than I have my entire life ,yet I never feel as if I am being judged. I never feel like I have to be something I am not. I think this is because I don’t have to fit in ( I can’t), I can’t understand what they are saying, and they have no idea what to expect of me. It is an amazing feeling! Relieving to be honest! I feel like wearing cowboy boots …I wear them. I want to wear PJ’s to dinner…go for it! I think this concept goes deeper then clothes. I am beginning to see that here in China, with no other influences, no pressures of culture or trying to live the “ideal” life, I have begun to re-figure out Who I am, what I think, and what I like to do. It is not a selfish thing, but an exciting time to figure out what my purpose is and what strengths the Father has given me. It’s the adventurous journey to discovering Me!

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