Don’t you just hate it when you open your closet and realize out of all the clothes you own, none of them match or go together? I do! I am not sure the Chinese ever have that feeling. I have come to the conclusion that Chinese don’t even turn on the light, they grab some pants….grab a shirt….and they have an outfit.
My first two months, the “pretty + pretty = pretty” concept was so strange. They find a pretty shirt + pretty pants = a pretty outfit. However, just this past week I realized I didn’t bring any good winter shoes and that my feet were going to freeze on the scooter. Solution: Wear some warm socks that don’t match with my open foot shoes….in America I would have been mocked and laughed at. Here… fit right in.
This got me thinking. I wonder how much of what I wear is because of what other people will think of me rather than me wearing it because I like it? I get more stares here in a day than I have my entire life ,yet I never feel as if I am being judged. I never feel like I have to be something I am not. I think this is because I don’t have to fit in ( I can’t), I can’t understand what they are saying, and they have no idea what to expect of me.
It is an amazing feeling! Relieving to be honest! I feel like wearing cowboy boots …I wear them. I want to wear PJ’s to dinner…go for it!
I think this concept goes deeper then clothes. I am beginning to see that here in China, with no other influences, no pressures of culture or trying to live the “ideal” life, I have begun to re-figure out Who I am, what I think, and what I like to do. It is not a selfish thing, but an exciting time to figure out what my purpose is and what strengths the Father has given me. It’s the adventurous journey to discovering Me!
I have been contemplating what to write on my blog lately. I am going through a time in the culture shock/stress phase that is hard to put into words. However, just the other day as I sat on the floor starring out the window the words came. Heart Broken. That kind of heart- ache that consumes your body, leaves you somewhat depressed and the pain is so real it feels physical. I feel like I just had a bad break-up. I was told Nov/Dec are going to be hard months, but I got through November and then …heart break. I am not sure why. But I have my guesses. The adventure of moving here and starting life here is over. I am officially here. I am living life in China. With that being said; now I am realizing that life in China isn’t easy all the time, I miss home and life there, and that living life here is going to be more of a sacrifice than I originally thought. Its not temporary. This is a hard realization. I think for the past 5 months I have been in survival mode. Knowing if I just pushe...
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